Laura at Heavenly Homemakers encouraged her blogging readers to share their testimonies. I'm a little behind joining her 'carnival' but here it is, in three million words or less...
I grew up in a very moral and religious family -- I remember sitting in the first or second pew of our church every Sunday. I was always in Sunday School and VBS or other activities -- in junior high I even started helping and then teaching in VBS with the 2- and 3-year-olds -- not very deep theology needed ;-) I knew the story of the Good Samaritan among others I suppose (it's a long time ago now), but it wasn't personal. And I'm pretty sure the 'total depravity of man' was quite overlooked... I think I was in the 'Do the best YOU can, and hope God likes you' belief system... the Protestant Work Ethic applied to salvation (not good). I almost had a close encounter with Christ one summer at Bible camp -- I don't think I really understood what I was doing (or attempting to believe) when I prayed with my counselor. It might have been 1977, so I was probably about 12 years old -- old enough to have understood, but I think it was a case of the blind leading the blind.
For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God...
For confirmation class, I must have memorized a lot. I mostly enjoyed the social aspect of the class -- our motto: An Occasion for Every Party (not just a party for every occasion, if you can see the difference - you have to think like a 14 year old) -- that just meant cookies or cake, etc., but having treats was much more fun than memorizing the ten commandments. Somewhere along the way I learned Ephesians 2:8, but I didn't really understand the passage until ~1989, when I saw that God had GIVEN me the very FAITH to believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior!
Not of works, lest any man should boast.
But, for another ten years or so, I was still wandering on my own and wondering about those Big Questions of Life: Who am I? Where am I going? (notice there's no reference to God in those popular graduation card questions) I remember notebooking my way through high school (meaning I filled spiral notebooks with the lyrics to my favorite songs... or about every song I knew from the radio and my own record collection... and attempted to record profound thoughts out of my own head, too -- ha -- even attempting some poetry). I remember recording my distorted view of Creation, trying to meld my Darwinian biology textbook with what I remembered from Genesis. Confusion?!
By the time I reached college, I determined I didn't want to feel like a hypocrite any longer. It didn't seem to matter to anyone what I did on Saturday night if I was in church on Sunday morning (and I obviously thought that it should). So the simple conclusion was to skip the church part, and I could just be me every day of the week. I'll let you use your own understanding of typical state university student lifestyle. I knew that I was not honoring my parents, but thought they didn't need to know anything about it. (When I apologized years later, my mom still professed ignorance, but I chose not to convince her with the dirty details.)
Meanwhile, my best friend Marianne from schooldays had moved to Wisc to live with her aunt. They took her to church, and her uncle led her to saving faith in Christ. I visited her a few times. She witnessed to me repeatedly. I remember telling her that I was sitting on the fence. It sounded so good and so simple to just believe in Christ, but how could I know for sure? She said I later told her that I couldn't become a born-again Christian when I was living with my friends (3 housemates who I enjoyed partying with). She eventually married and moved to Chicago with her new husband. And eventually I was living alone and not very happy with my life. I called her on November 8, 1987, and we talked for ~2 hours (if I remember the phone bill correctly!) After listening to my woes, she said to me in reference to trusting Christ, If not now, then when?! And I yielded.
Oh Happy Day! :-)
He that hath the Son hath life;
and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life.
These things have I written unto you
that believe on the name of the Son of God;
that ye may know that ye have eternal life,
and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.
I John 5:12-13
I had the same life I guess, but I had new motivation to make better choices (still depending upon pulling myself up by the bootstraps a bit). I couldn't believe how easy it was to change some things (Praise the Lord for His work!), but others took much longer (ie, my music...) It was Christmas before I went to church, but I went pretty regularly after that to an E-Free nearby. I even joined a singles Bible study group, which allowed me some new friends. But as I studied my Bible, listened to Christian radio, visited Marianne who had moved back to Wisc... I knew that wasn't the church where I wanted to stay. It also seemed a real struggle to live like a Christian in my hometown. So in May 1989 I moved to Wisconsin and started attending the Baptist church my friends belonged to. I wasn't baptized until August, but that was a blessed event as well -- obedience is a good thing!
And can it be that I should gainAn interest in the Savior's blood?Died He for me, who caused His pain?For me, who Him to death pursued?Amazing love! how can it beThat Thou, my God shouldst die for me?
It still amazes me what Christ was willing to suffer, and what God purposed to accomplish in my life through Him. I am so thankful for His grace upon grace... upon grace...
For when we were yet without strength,
in due time Christ died for the ungodly.
For scarcely for a righteous man will one die:
yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.
But God commendeth his love toward us,
in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:6-8
